back from the dead...

I haven't blogged since Valentine's of LAST YEAR!! but recent happenings have lead me to want to blog again... with all the facebooks, myspace, twitter and everything inbetween, there really isn't much use for a blog unless you want to rant. I hope more will come later!

valentine's day and other things.

So shoot me but I don't blog often but I just had a thought. With the blasted "love" holiday coming up, I sometimes sit and wonder... How can anyone who is in a relationship say that "they forgot" about valentine's day? I mean seriously folks after like New Year's there is a vast conglomeration of pink and red in every store imaginable! So I'm sorry, if I was in a relationship and my boo says "sorry babe (*he'd call me 'babe*) I forgot it was Valentine's day" I'd really have to look and him and ask if he'd been living under a rock! Just say, I really didn't feel like buying you a present or something like that because that would be the truth. "I forgot" is really not an option for this holiday. I just thought about that while walking in the store the other day and decided to write it.... more to come later

Boys...

So i have survived the first few week of working with boys. And I can only say that God is really good. I know that it is only through the grace of him that I am not somewhere in the fetal position or unemployed because i ran out of there screaming. The boys are crazy but I guess i am craizer. And again my blessing of contagious joy keeps them from hating all of my guts. But they still hate the reality of authority. I really think that i'm here for a reason. whatever that reason is... only God knows. So what's the difference between boys and girls?? lol well let's see:
~ Boys eat ALOT!
~ Boys don't hold grudges.
~ Sports and bodily functions are universal bonding
~ Fighting is the way to settle an argument
Similiarities between the two in the same situation
~ they complain about EVERYTHING
~ they don't want to do ANYTHING productive
~ they just want someone to listen
~ Both are hurting
So as much as they run you ragged, when you look past all the rough exterior. they're not all bad...

So Shoot me

I'll admit... I don't blog as often as I should...i just don't think of things that are interesting enough to blog about in my humdrum life. but since i have no one to talk to right now. my blog gets my frustrations.
So my stressful job is defintley not for the lightweights. So I feel kind of good at the fact that I've stuck with it for so long. (yay me) However the job is still hard. Anyways, too many people quit and now the house is on a "bed hold" and all of us have to go to another facility until it opens again. the thing is that this house is all boys... BOYS! We have enough behavior problems with girls... but boys?! Needless to say I'm rather nervous about the change. I have NEVER worked with boys. Honestly I can count the number of co-workers I've had that were male on one hand. SO YES I am nervous. I'm not scared of boys. but of crazy boys. and just new things in general.So I pray that God will show me how this applies to his will and go from there. So just in case you pray for me too... that can be a specific.

Milkshake remix

These guys are actually good...That's what makes it so funny check it out

Great big God...

When I consider your heavens,
the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
which you have set in place,
what is man that you are mindful of him,
the son of man that you care for him?

I think about this every now and then... And I guess Bible Study tonight was something that made me think of it. And I think Davis says it best here. Just if you think of the Universe and all that it is... This one planet called earth, God is so interested in us and then break it down that He is so very interested you... Am I selfish to think of it that way? I don't know but I do know that I like this verse. David thinks...and it's pretty awesome

I can't sleep and my mind is racing

It is really times like these when I miss my friends that I just ramble on and on about life and what makes the world go 'round and all that jazz at Starbuck's. I've had many-a wonderful time chatting it up. Alas, my Starbuck's friends are at least 50 miles away and I am left with Agamemnon... (my computer) Still I can't seem to fathom what God is trying to tell me but I really think it's something.
I am thoroughly confused with something that may not be all that confusing. I like getting e-mails from my long lost friend... I like the attention of having a "pen-pal" in Iraq. but due to the simple fact that I easily see myself falling for this man scares me. Not scares... excites but scares me all at the same time. Relationships don't happen with me. I'm the "friend", the "sister", the "f*** buddy"(sorry) but never the person the guy is interested in. 24 years and that's how I have learned to live. For this to happen could be big. For me to entertain this so much could be dangerous. Why? because if I entertain it too much and nothing comes from it then I did it again. So eventhough I am trying to keep this as what it is.... I can't help but wonder. My daybook of prayer tells me to listen to a soft voice and nothing else... and what I am hearing is "make sure you stay close. I'm still here."
My other worry is my primary.(my kid I mentor at work) Again I've gotten attached to this wonderful child that I know could be dead in a few years if she doesn't change. I hear "I'm in a gang just to fit in" Or "it's the only family I have" and it breaks my heart to know that they are telling the truth. It's rough... But when I see her she makes me smile... When she succeeds I'm so proud. The fact that no one tells her... She has no family because most of them are dead. It makes my job a hard reality. How can I empathize with someone like that? How can I share God's love to someone who has built a wall because of so much pain? But to know that I do tell her and that she listens to me in return makes it a bit of fresh air than having pots and other things thrown at you. These are the kind of things that makes me want to say that I love my job. I complain a lot but there are some shining days.