I almost need to be pinched...

So my graduation announcements came in the mail today. that kind of makes it real. I mean, sure once I'm done with my work and stuff I'll say the same thing. But seriously these are pretty much my final days at CBU...more on that later. I gotta go.

i think these are my favorite words by my man Ozzie Chambers :)

Perseverance means more than endurance— more than simply holding on until the end. A saint’s life is in the hands of God like a bow and arrow in the hands of an archer. God is aiming at something the saint cannot see, but our Lord continues to stretch and strain, and every once in a while the saint says, "I can’t take any more." Yet God pays no attention; He goes on stretching until His purpose is in sight, and then He lets the arrow fly. Entrust yourself to God’s hands. Is there something in your life for which you need perseverance right now? Maintain your intimate relationship with Jesus Christ through the perseverance of faith. Proclaim as Job did, "Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him" ( Job 13:15 ).

Faith is not some weak and pitiful emotion, but is strong and vigorous confidence built on the fact that God is holy love. And even though you cannot see Him right now and cannot understand what He is doing, you know Him. Disaster occurs in your life when you lack the mental composure that comes from establishing yourself on the eternal truth that God is holy love. Faith is the supreme effort of your life— throwing yourself with abandon and total confidence upon God.

God ventured His all in Jesus Christ to save us, and now He wants us to venture our all with total abandoned confidence in Him. There are areas in our lives where that faith has not worked in us as yet— places still untouched by the life of God. There were none of those places in Jesus Christ’s life, and there are to be none in ours. Jesus prayed, "This is eternal life, that they may know You . . ." ( John 17:3 ). The real meaning of eternal life is a life that can face anything it has to face without wavering. If we will take this view, life will become one great romance— a glorious opportunity of seeing wonderful things all the time. God is disciplining us to get us into this central place of power.

humble yourself in the sight of...

Are we only to humble ourselves before God? Or do we humble ourselves before man as well, especially when it comes to our authorities? Is there a fine line between humility and self worth? are they even in the same boat? I have an answer...what do you think?

this is something I will never understand...

God created us to be beings of relationships... "it is not good for man to be alone..." God says, so he created Eve for Adam and then they start a family (sibling rivilary at it's finest)...
So maybe I'm looking at this from Seth's point of view (that was the third child of Adam and Eve...) How did he feel? I mean he lost one brother and then his other brother was banished, never to be spoken to again... One day he had two brothers that he knew didn't get along for whatever reason and now, he's got none. His family is broken...
So you may be thinking "Danielle, where are you going with this?" and since maybe a total of 3 people actually read this, I'll let you know. My brothers frustrate the crap out of me. I'll actually say that when I see my friends interact with their siblings, I get jealous...Sure, we love each other, but it seems as if they want nothing to do with me. maybe 6 and 3 years is too far apart for interaction...it's gotten better, but I know I force a relationship with them. Why am I pouring out my heart like this? I recently had a conversation that bugged me. My brother's favorite term with me is "Don't worry about me" or "Why does that matter to you?" and with a brother like mine, I can't help it. I don't understand how a person could want that! No one to care about them? So much so that you get annoyed when people call you and ask how you are? I can expect that from friends, not family...and the wierd thing is that I don't get that from my friends. Anyway, I gotta go to work, but hopefully I can continue this later

stuck...

SO I guess this is what they call writer's block... The very paper that pretty much determines the end of my college career, and I'm flippin stuck!! I guess it is a good thing that I'm stuck at 19 pages as opposed to 9 pages but still (it's a 25 pager...barf) I hate this...Maybe i'm making myself stuck so that I don't have to think about it anymore...HELLO?!?! Danielle do you want to graduate?! geez! sigh* I can honestly say I have never been this much in a low mood ever in my life. Sure, I can think positively but I have to make an attempt. oh well, I'm going to Disneyland the day after graduation...you comin?

sometimes things just hit you...

This is why I love music....sometimes when you can't find the words yourself you'll hear a song that totally says what you want to say. and thanks to itunes being on random, Jennifer Knapp talked on my behalf...




I come into this place, burning to receive your peace
I come
with my own chains, for wars I fought for my own selfishgains

Your my God and my father, I've accepted your
son
But my soul feels so empty now, what have I become?

Lord...
Come with your fire, burn my desires
Refine me
Lord...
My will has deceived me, please
come and free me
Refine me

My heart can't
see, when I only look at me
My soul can't hear, when I
only think of my own fears.

And they are gone in a
moment, your forever the same
Why did I look away from you,
how can i speak your name?

Lord...
Come with
your fire, burn my desires
Refine me
Lord...
My
has deceived me, please come and free me
Come rescue this
child, cause long to be reconciled to you...
It's all
I can do, to give my heart and soul to you
and pray.....
and pray..... and I will pray...

Lord...
Come
with your fire, burn my desires
Refine me
Lord...
My will has deceived me, please come and free me
Refine
me

Refine me... Refine me...
Refine
me............

...Oh There you are Peter!!

So in my bordem today, I watched the movie "Hook". my favorite part is when the little boy moves Robin Williams' face around to find the Peter Pan that he remembers. Maybe because I have seen the movie a million times, or that I have too much time on my hands today, or what..but it just gave me a thought... Maybe that's what God does with us. We start off as one person, and somewhere along the line we "grow up" or just morph into this unrecognizable person that no one knows, not even ourselves. But God sees us as who we have always been, and if we let him, he begins to move things around to reveal the creation that he made. And he goes..."Oh there you are. so and so!!" I really gave this thought and I know it sounds dumb and childish but it's pretty cool. That and I think i have witnessed it lately, and missed out on it too. that's about it for now...

I can't get away from it can I?

I'm sure anyone over 5'9 has been labeled this at least once in their life... But i guess this time it's a good thing :)

You Are Big Bird

Talented, smart, and friendly... you're also one of the sanest people around. You are usually feeling: Happy. From riding a unicycle to writing poetry, you have plenty of hobbies to keep you busy. You are famous for: Being a friend to everyone. Even the grumpiest person gets along with you. How you life your life: Joyfully. "Super. Duper. Flooper."

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

Now I really wish I was a flight attendant...

And my week gets crappier... Here I am reveling in the fact that I get to see cute kids on a daily basis and then Thursday comes around and the dreaded group home (my other job) rears it's ugly head...ACK!! I feel like I'm being belittled because I'm a student. And I'm just getting walked all over. And the sucky part is, I'm too much of a flippin pansy to stand up for myself and do something about it. I'll just wine and moan to other people who don't need to know and nothing gets accomplished. I hate my life. I hate myself for hating my life... I want my mom...No I want a hug...No I WANT TO BE ABLE TO FIX THIS... Boo... :( I want to go to Disneyland... Welcome to the life of the grumpy grown up...

I think i should be a flight attendant...

Ha!! So I just spent the past hour standing in a hallway saying good morning to about 150 little kids. It's a part of my job. But I love it! Especially when I get those really sweet ones who don't know any better and they'll give me a hug around the knees. :)Really people, how can some of you NOT like kids?! No, I take that back. I work with the little terrors on a daily basis so I know how annoying and gross and everything else they can be. But if you can look past that, they're really great.
But I just had that thought. I could complain how all i do is stand there and say "good morning" how it's really cold in that hallway, how my boss is a little looney, and I can think of about 100 other things that I could be doing for that hour...like my personal favorite, sleeping...Lord knows i've been deprived of it lately. But I stand there, I say good morning, I smile, I block the older ones from going to the playground until they crack me a smile, I dance around to keep warm and all the teachers look at me like I'm a wierdo, I sing show tunes in my head or whatever song that comes to mind, and I just enjoy my job.
I think I apply that to my everyday life and sometimes I wonder if I need to be less upbeat. But I can't see how staying mad and looking at everything pessimistically (is that a word?) should be the alternate of being a "grown up". I say that because I've been labled immature because of my "peppiness" Don't get me wrong, sometimes I annoy myself for finding the bright side of road kill. But it's just something I cannot change. It's the very essence of my "Danielle-ness" Sure, I have my bad days, i've actually had a horrible week/weekend, partially on others behalf but horrible all the same. But the simple task of trying to cheer people up and being positive for my job(s) made life bearable...So I guess all that to say, maybe if you are down, try saying good morning to people, or have a little kid hug you around the knees. bu bye! (ahhh bu bye...SNL sketch)