Dream Like New York

So I just got back from a Tyrone Wells Concert in Redlands and....I must say, I think I'm becoming a "fan". You know the typical crazy girls you see at concerts that you'd wish they'd just shut up? The girls you hate?! Yeah...That wasn't me. BUT I did know every song (he had some new material this time which was refreshing) and I bought the latest CD and Jana' and I even took pictures with the band. And I was told that Tyrone turned around to see who was laughing... (I still don't think that one was true but whatever...) But I am glad that I got to have such a fun night...First the Prestige and now Tyrone Wells, life is sweet...But not for long.

Anyway, on a totally different note, I must say that I love my church and I love my pastor. Matt Brown spoke in chapel today and he talked about the subject of... SEX (enter dramatic music here) Only my pastor would talk about his wedding night yet still be able to tell about very real and true issues about sex that no one wants to touch.Yet I still heard comments like "if we were gonna talk about sex, we should have been separated by gender...Guys on one side and girls on the other." to them I say GROW UP!!! If you and your significant other can't have a grown up tell you about grown up issues...There's a problem. I admit there was a shock factor but...C'mon guys.

And finally, another totally different note on something that I have been learning... Letting go. We can only hold on to something for so long before we have to admit that what we want isn't within our reach and finally let go. I've been holding on to things for a long time now and I just have to let them go. It hurts to say it, but if I don't admit it then I'm only fooling myself. The question of why I hold on for so long, what will I benefit if I keep reaching and never seem to grasp what I want? And all the while while I was holding on to something else did God have something to give me that I totally missed out on because I didn't let go? Learn to let go guys, then let God handle things for awhile.
I think that's enough for now, time for bed...

Oddly enough...The Bachleor

I have to say that shows like the bachelor and "flavor of love" never EVER appealed to me. This may be the bitter Danielle side of me but...Seriously, does love make you a total idiot? Or is it television? I was forced to watch "flavor of love" (That's what I get for working with a bunch of ghetto group home girls) And it was the dumbest thing I have ever witnessed! Why, why would you set yourself up for such embarrassment? And the bachelor is no better! Yet I know so many girls who are rooting for their favorite..."Girl" ( I'm thinking of a different word, starts with an "s" ends in "lut") I really wonder if they truly think they are going to find love... Not "the one" or anything but actual true affection that isn't lust and self pride when it all comes to an end... If they think they'll find love I think they're dumber than I thought. Why am I venting about television shows I don't watch? Because enough people watch it so much so that they won't put good shows on t.v! gah! Who comes up with this? I guess that's the part that makes some of us "not of this world" huh?...meh, I'm going to bed.

Are you watching closely?

DUDE!! I just saw a really cool movie!! And really cool movies excite me very much. The Prestige was one of those movies. Watch it!! I recommend it! (and that Christian Bale isn't too bad to look at either) Sorry boys, Scarlett Johanssen is in there for ya too...Anyway, my spirits are lifted. I feel better, and that's all

i thought it was cute

this is why i would want kids...maybe

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ms6BtRYMtpw&eurl=

Like I was saying before...

K, so yesterday in chapel... I'm still sick so I don't know how eloquently this will be put so bear with me... The speaker was talking about how we can sometimes be too casual when we are talking to God. And something that came to me was (sadly) Animainiacs. You know, the song..."It's a great big universe and we're all really puny, we're just tiny little specks about the size of Mickey Rooney... " But seriously guys...I don't know about you but I totally related to what he was saying. Especially since I've been trying to "prune" my life.
My God is so big yet I find it a burden to try to spend time with him and this is a privilege that I have been given! If I am not mistaken, we really haven't found anything like us in this vast galaxy yet we get the honor of talking to the creator of it all; and there are still some of us who won't even admit that he exists! Does that boggle anyone else's mind?
So, eventhough I can understand where the "Jesus is the homie" intentions come from; let's not forget who we are talking about. You probably know this already, and good for you. I guess it still baffles me sometimes...

quick note

I must quickly say that chapel today was quite amazing, in terms of how I have been feeling lately. I wasn't gonna go because of how I've been feeling but I am glad I went. maybe I'll say more later. I'm still wrapping my mind around it.

still keeping my head up

Well I was hoping to write better posts since the last few have been pretty crappy. Yet I must continue with the crappiness because I'm sick. booo... appearently i have acute bronchitis, but i see nothing "a-cute" about the way I feel. Sorry for the bad pun, what are ya gonna do about it? So in the midst of it all I have to now drink lots of fluids and get rest. (ha!) what is the deal with when you're sick all you want to do is curl up in a ball and have someone take care of you? Mom used to do it, but now I rely on disney...and Alison... she brings me tea when she's here. Anyway, I should take the medicine the doctor perscribed *cough*

Midterm breakdown

So it's not midterms yet but...My life needs a good fatty prunning. Have any of you just felt like life, which potentially can be a beautiful thing, has overgrown? Suddenly, your life is taken over by knee high grass and weeds. Your cute little trumpet vines have tangled around all of your nice patio furniture and you can't safely manuver over to the back fence. Sure those plants were nice at first, add a flower bed here and there, maybe a tree or two... and now your life is unmannageable. It's controlling your moves, you're not controlling it. This is where I currently find myself. I'm aimlessly busy and very tired in every way. I just want to scream, but that would mean expending energy.

I've also been thinking about what I'm living for. I can tell ya right now, it's not God. Sure it looks like it superficially. I work at a Christian school, and with troubled girls that I have to sometimes force myself to pray for, I feel awful that I haven't hung out with any of my friends... All of my classes are Bible based...the list goes on. This is not to glorify me... but rather to make a point that I try to be involved with the Lord's work, but I question why I do these things. Most of the time, if I'm honest, it's for me. I started the job at the group home because of my desire to make a difference. The Christian school because I needed a balance from being cussed out all day, I love my major but that crazy question of "what are you going to do next?" lurkes and I can't answer that. I also can't help thinking that I'm putting a front up for myself. I'm still missing the point. All this is supposed to be FOR GOD. Not me, God. With this delema infront of me, which has been in the forefront of my mind for weeks, I've begun to seek what my life would be life if I kept God's perspective ALL THE TIME. What would it look like if I lived FOR GOD in EVERYTHING?

So I'm starting to have a heart change. I want a mass undertaking, namely, changing all of my life so that I'm living purposefully. I want every moment to reflect that I'm pressing on toward the goal of doing God's will in everything. I've also come to the conclusion that I can't do it on my own. I struggle with what my own responsibility is in these kinds of changes. I know whatever change occurs, it will be God's doing. I can't do it. I've been in prayer about this for a few days, but it's been a random cry when I'm not feeling all that great about myself. I should be more intentional and focused on seeking what God wants my life to look like.

What do you all think? What have you done to prioritize your life and make God first? What hasn't worked?