I can't sleep and my mind is racing

It is really times like these when I miss my friends that I just ramble on and on about life and what makes the world go 'round and all that jazz at Starbuck's. I've had many-a wonderful time chatting it up. Alas, my Starbuck's friends are at least 50 miles away and I am left with Agamemnon... (my computer) Still I can't seem to fathom what God is trying to tell me but I really think it's something.
I am thoroughly confused with something that may not be all that confusing. I like getting e-mails from my long lost friend... I like the attention of having a "pen-pal" in Iraq. but due to the simple fact that I easily see myself falling for this man scares me. Not scares... excites but scares me all at the same time. Relationships don't happen with me. I'm the "friend", the "sister", the "f*** buddy"(sorry) but never the person the guy is interested in. 24 years and that's how I have learned to live. For this to happen could be big. For me to entertain this so much could be dangerous. Why? because if I entertain it too much and nothing comes from it then I did it again. So eventhough I am trying to keep this as what it is.... I can't help but wonder. My daybook of prayer tells me to listen to a soft voice and nothing else... and what I am hearing is "make sure you stay close. I'm still here."
My other worry is my primary.(my kid I mentor at work) Again I've gotten attached to this wonderful child that I know could be dead in a few years if she doesn't change. I hear "I'm in a gang just to fit in" Or "it's the only family I have" and it breaks my heart to know that they are telling the truth. It's rough... But when I see her she makes me smile... When she succeeds I'm so proud. The fact that no one tells her... She has no family because most of them are dead. It makes my job a hard reality. How can I empathize with someone like that? How can I share God's love to someone who has built a wall because of so much pain? But to know that I do tell her and that she listens to me in return makes it a bit of fresh air than having pots and other things thrown at you. These are the kind of things that makes me want to say that I love my job. I complain a lot but there are some shining days.