I look like Eddie Murphy

Apparently I look the most like Eddie Murphy...hmmm...but then again I resemble Mike Myers too...

how true...

" I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody" - Bill Cosby

decisions...decisions...

So I hardly make New Year's resolutions because I always break them but I thought I'd take a chance. So my New Year's Resolution is to make decisions. This is a bigge for me actually because anyone who hangs out with me knows that I can be the mose indecisive person on the planet. So, that's my decision. and I started already. I decided that I didn't want to have 2 jobs anymore so I quit one and i have my nights and weekends back! But I do have a plan so I'm not making stupid decisions...Sadly that means that I won't be in Riverside much longer but actually I'm seeing more and more that it's ok...anyway, more on that later

just a little freaked out...

So, I was a victim to idiots racing on the freeway...another reason why I hate driving and working graveyard I'm ok but my wonderful Jeep "Chuck" isn't. He's a lil' banged up. That makes me sad :( and it freaked me out too. My first accident. not my fault but in the eyes of the insurance holders it could be because I hit him but it's not my fault that he was being an idiot driver! it was scary I say. And all I could think was that I could have died (not being overly dramatic here, I'm lucky) So don't tell your moms, i'm ok and pray that everything gets fixed and I get a new job... how's that for an after graduation blog...

I wonder what I will blog about now...

So, the ONE time I ever watched Sex in the City, one of the ladies was throwing a shower for herself and she said something along the lines of "After you graduate from college besides your birthday, if you are single you are no longer celebrated... No showers, no weddings no anniversaries...nothin"
I must admit, if you look it that way, it'll make you sad...BUT NOT ME!!! :D DUDE!!! I'M DONE!!!! I am graduating in 2 days!! I'm finally excited!. Sure it took me a little longer than others but I feel that's just how I operate sometimes, I'm a step behind but I'll get there.
The only thing that is bittersweet is that fact that it is December and just as much as everyone else is excited to get out of school, they can say "Ok I'll see you in 3 weeks"...Nope I won't see people after the break because I don't have classes in the spring. Sad but exciting all the same. I guess I have to just keep my blogs and not commit social suicide because we all know that without one of these things you just don't exist... lol
So if I don't see you tomorrow or at the graduation, friends, have a wonderful Christmas, I love you all dearly, there is really no way I could have done this without you guys. You are really part of the product you see today wether you like it or not but if you are my friend, you most likely like it. I may be gone but I'm not dead so I expect to hear from you and heaven knows you really can't keep away from "the Bapper" no matter how hard you try so I'll pop up here and there sometimes!

Should I sue?!

So I've been coughing like a smoker for what I feel like all semester but I could be exaggerating... whatever, Anyway the last time I went to the dr. I had bronchitis and was given robitussin, now they tell me that that was not the right medicine I should be taking and that I need to take flippin' dimatapp! how lame is that! and that's after I had to call my insurance 4 times so that I could find the correct Dr. to go to cuz appearently CBU doesn't use parkview anymore...ugh I say!
In other news, if I really work hard tonight I can officially be done with all my work! maybe then I can be excited about graduating...Ok that's all I think for now.

But now I found one more thing...it what I learned in my Stokes class.
"The establishment of a Christian home is dependant on a Christian man taking the responsibility and the lead. It will not happen if he is coerced by his wife of if he feels incompetent to take the lead. Our congregations must teach men how to be godly men first in their homes, then in congregation and society. We are at a crisis. for too long, men have not led the way. The key to making a Christian home is a man who will love his wife as Christ loved the church, who will provide, nurture, and watch carefully over his children as God does for us. He will do this because he is obedient and trusting of his God who acts in this same manner toward him. A Christian home depends on a man who is in proper relationship with his God, his wife, and his children".

Thank God for those of you who found men like this, thank God for those of you who are aspiring to be like this, and Thank God for ladies who want guys like this...

what it all boils down to...

ok, so if you know anything about my life, you know that I am writing a Sr. Project, and instead of you reading 25 pages of what I wrote (I don't even want to read it) I'll give you the cliff's notes about what psychologists are saying about the youth's attitude towards God and religion.
The main thing is that they've summed up their beliefs into a "creed" called Moralistic Therapeutic Deism (say that three times fast) which is:

1. A God exists who created and orders the world and watches over human life on earth.

2. God wants people to be good, nice, and fair to each other, as taught in the Bible and by most world religions.

3. The central goal of life is to be happy and to feel good about oneself.

4. God does not need to be particularly involved in one’s life except when God is needed to resolve a problem.

5. Good people go to heaven when they die.

What makes me sad is that if this is what the church is teaching our young people, we are NOT teaching the truth, and if this our young people's view of Jesus, it breaks my heart that he's been boiled down to a "Moralistic therapeutic diety". And we are raising up a very selfish generation... trust me I could go on and on about this topic ( I feel like I did I mean, 25 pages! geez!!)

I almost need to be pinched...

So my graduation announcements came in the mail today. that kind of makes it real. I mean, sure once I'm done with my work and stuff I'll say the same thing. But seriously these are pretty much my final days at CBU...more on that later. I gotta go.

i think these are my favorite words by my man Ozzie Chambers :)

Perseverance means more than endurance— more than simply holding on until the end. A saint’s life is in the hands of God like a bow and arrow in the hands of an archer. God is aiming at something the saint cannot see, but our Lord continues to stretch and strain, and every once in a while the saint says, "I can’t take any more." Yet God pays no attention; He goes on stretching until His purpose is in sight, and then He lets the arrow fly. Entrust yourself to God’s hands. Is there something in your life for which you need perseverance right now? Maintain your intimate relationship with Jesus Christ through the perseverance of faith. Proclaim as Job did, "Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him" ( Job 13:15 ).

Faith is not some weak and pitiful emotion, but is strong and vigorous confidence built on the fact that God is holy love. And even though you cannot see Him right now and cannot understand what He is doing, you know Him. Disaster occurs in your life when you lack the mental composure that comes from establishing yourself on the eternal truth that God is holy love. Faith is the supreme effort of your life— throwing yourself with abandon and total confidence upon God.

God ventured His all in Jesus Christ to save us, and now He wants us to venture our all with total abandoned confidence in Him. There are areas in our lives where that faith has not worked in us as yet— places still untouched by the life of God. There were none of those places in Jesus Christ’s life, and there are to be none in ours. Jesus prayed, "This is eternal life, that they may know You . . ." ( John 17:3 ). The real meaning of eternal life is a life that can face anything it has to face without wavering. If we will take this view, life will become one great romance— a glorious opportunity of seeing wonderful things all the time. God is disciplining us to get us into this central place of power.

humble yourself in the sight of...

Are we only to humble ourselves before God? Or do we humble ourselves before man as well, especially when it comes to our authorities? Is there a fine line between humility and self worth? are they even in the same boat? I have an answer...what do you think?

this is something I will never understand...

God created us to be beings of relationships... "it is not good for man to be alone..." God says, so he created Eve for Adam and then they start a family (sibling rivilary at it's finest)...
So maybe I'm looking at this from Seth's point of view (that was the third child of Adam and Eve...) How did he feel? I mean he lost one brother and then his other brother was banished, never to be spoken to again... One day he had two brothers that he knew didn't get along for whatever reason and now, he's got none. His family is broken...
So you may be thinking "Danielle, where are you going with this?" and since maybe a total of 3 people actually read this, I'll let you know. My brothers frustrate the crap out of me. I'll actually say that when I see my friends interact with their siblings, I get jealous...Sure, we love each other, but it seems as if they want nothing to do with me. maybe 6 and 3 years is too far apart for interaction...it's gotten better, but I know I force a relationship with them. Why am I pouring out my heart like this? I recently had a conversation that bugged me. My brother's favorite term with me is "Don't worry about me" or "Why does that matter to you?" and with a brother like mine, I can't help it. I don't understand how a person could want that! No one to care about them? So much so that you get annoyed when people call you and ask how you are? I can expect that from friends, not family...and the wierd thing is that I don't get that from my friends. Anyway, I gotta go to work, but hopefully I can continue this later

stuck...

SO I guess this is what they call writer's block... The very paper that pretty much determines the end of my college career, and I'm flippin stuck!! I guess it is a good thing that I'm stuck at 19 pages as opposed to 9 pages but still (it's a 25 pager...barf) I hate this...Maybe i'm making myself stuck so that I don't have to think about it anymore...HELLO?!?! Danielle do you want to graduate?! geez! sigh* I can honestly say I have never been this much in a low mood ever in my life. Sure, I can think positively but I have to make an attempt. oh well, I'm going to Disneyland the day after graduation...you comin?

sometimes things just hit you...

This is why I love music....sometimes when you can't find the words yourself you'll hear a song that totally says what you want to say. and thanks to itunes being on random, Jennifer Knapp talked on my behalf...




I come into this place, burning to receive your peace
I come
with my own chains, for wars I fought for my own selfishgains

Your my God and my father, I've accepted your
son
But my soul feels so empty now, what have I become?

Lord...
Come with your fire, burn my desires
Refine me
Lord...
My will has deceived me, please
come and free me
Refine me

My heart can't
see, when I only look at me
My soul can't hear, when I
only think of my own fears.

And they are gone in a
moment, your forever the same
Why did I look away from you,
how can i speak your name?

Lord...
Come with
your fire, burn my desires
Refine me
Lord...
My
has deceived me, please come and free me
Come rescue this
child, cause long to be reconciled to you...
It's all
I can do, to give my heart and soul to you
and pray.....
and pray..... and I will pray...

Lord...
Come
with your fire, burn my desires
Refine me
Lord...
My will has deceived me, please come and free me
Refine
me

Refine me... Refine me...
Refine
me............

...Oh There you are Peter!!

So in my bordem today, I watched the movie "Hook". my favorite part is when the little boy moves Robin Williams' face around to find the Peter Pan that he remembers. Maybe because I have seen the movie a million times, or that I have too much time on my hands today, or what..but it just gave me a thought... Maybe that's what God does with us. We start off as one person, and somewhere along the line we "grow up" or just morph into this unrecognizable person that no one knows, not even ourselves. But God sees us as who we have always been, and if we let him, he begins to move things around to reveal the creation that he made. And he goes..."Oh there you are. so and so!!" I really gave this thought and I know it sounds dumb and childish but it's pretty cool. That and I think i have witnessed it lately, and missed out on it too. that's about it for now...

I can't get away from it can I?

I'm sure anyone over 5'9 has been labeled this at least once in their life... But i guess this time it's a good thing :)

You Are Big Bird

Talented, smart, and friendly... you're also one of the sanest people around. You are usually feeling: Happy. From riding a unicycle to writing poetry, you have plenty of hobbies to keep you busy. You are famous for: Being a friend to everyone. Even the grumpiest person gets along with you. How you life your life: Joyfully. "Super. Duper. Flooper."

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

Now I really wish I was a flight attendant...

And my week gets crappier... Here I am reveling in the fact that I get to see cute kids on a daily basis and then Thursday comes around and the dreaded group home (my other job) rears it's ugly head...ACK!! I feel like I'm being belittled because I'm a student. And I'm just getting walked all over. And the sucky part is, I'm too much of a flippin pansy to stand up for myself and do something about it. I'll just wine and moan to other people who don't need to know and nothing gets accomplished. I hate my life. I hate myself for hating my life... I want my mom...No I want a hug...No I WANT TO BE ABLE TO FIX THIS... Boo... :( I want to go to Disneyland... Welcome to the life of the grumpy grown up...

I think i should be a flight attendant...

Ha!! So I just spent the past hour standing in a hallway saying good morning to about 150 little kids. It's a part of my job. But I love it! Especially when I get those really sweet ones who don't know any better and they'll give me a hug around the knees. :)Really people, how can some of you NOT like kids?! No, I take that back. I work with the little terrors on a daily basis so I know how annoying and gross and everything else they can be. But if you can look past that, they're really great.
But I just had that thought. I could complain how all i do is stand there and say "good morning" how it's really cold in that hallway, how my boss is a little looney, and I can think of about 100 other things that I could be doing for that hour...like my personal favorite, sleeping...Lord knows i've been deprived of it lately. But I stand there, I say good morning, I smile, I block the older ones from going to the playground until they crack me a smile, I dance around to keep warm and all the teachers look at me like I'm a wierdo, I sing show tunes in my head or whatever song that comes to mind, and I just enjoy my job.
I think I apply that to my everyday life and sometimes I wonder if I need to be less upbeat. But I can't see how staying mad and looking at everything pessimistically (is that a word?) should be the alternate of being a "grown up". I say that because I've been labled immature because of my "peppiness" Don't get me wrong, sometimes I annoy myself for finding the bright side of road kill. But it's just something I cannot change. It's the very essence of my "Danielle-ness" Sure, I have my bad days, i've actually had a horrible week/weekend, partially on others behalf but horrible all the same. But the simple task of trying to cheer people up and being positive for my job(s) made life bearable...So I guess all that to say, maybe if you are down, try saying good morning to people, or have a little kid hug you around the knees. bu bye! (ahhh bu bye...SNL sketch)

Dream Like New York

So I just got back from a Tyrone Wells Concert in Redlands and....I must say, I think I'm becoming a "fan". You know the typical crazy girls you see at concerts that you'd wish they'd just shut up? The girls you hate?! Yeah...That wasn't me. BUT I did know every song (he had some new material this time which was refreshing) and I bought the latest CD and Jana' and I even took pictures with the band. And I was told that Tyrone turned around to see who was laughing... (I still don't think that one was true but whatever...) But I am glad that I got to have such a fun night...First the Prestige and now Tyrone Wells, life is sweet...But not for long.

Anyway, on a totally different note, I must say that I love my church and I love my pastor. Matt Brown spoke in chapel today and he talked about the subject of... SEX (enter dramatic music here) Only my pastor would talk about his wedding night yet still be able to tell about very real and true issues about sex that no one wants to touch.Yet I still heard comments like "if we were gonna talk about sex, we should have been separated by gender...Guys on one side and girls on the other." to them I say GROW UP!!! If you and your significant other can't have a grown up tell you about grown up issues...There's a problem. I admit there was a shock factor but...C'mon guys.

And finally, another totally different note on something that I have been learning... Letting go. We can only hold on to something for so long before we have to admit that what we want isn't within our reach and finally let go. I've been holding on to things for a long time now and I just have to let them go. It hurts to say it, but if I don't admit it then I'm only fooling myself. The question of why I hold on for so long, what will I benefit if I keep reaching and never seem to grasp what I want? And all the while while I was holding on to something else did God have something to give me that I totally missed out on because I didn't let go? Learn to let go guys, then let God handle things for awhile.
I think that's enough for now, time for bed...

Oddly enough...The Bachleor

I have to say that shows like the bachelor and "flavor of love" never EVER appealed to me. This may be the bitter Danielle side of me but...Seriously, does love make you a total idiot? Or is it television? I was forced to watch "flavor of love" (That's what I get for working with a bunch of ghetto group home girls) And it was the dumbest thing I have ever witnessed! Why, why would you set yourself up for such embarrassment? And the bachelor is no better! Yet I know so many girls who are rooting for their favorite..."Girl" ( I'm thinking of a different word, starts with an "s" ends in "lut") I really wonder if they truly think they are going to find love... Not "the one" or anything but actual true affection that isn't lust and self pride when it all comes to an end... If they think they'll find love I think they're dumber than I thought. Why am I venting about television shows I don't watch? Because enough people watch it so much so that they won't put good shows on t.v! gah! Who comes up with this? I guess that's the part that makes some of us "not of this world" huh?...meh, I'm going to bed.

Are you watching closely?

DUDE!! I just saw a really cool movie!! And really cool movies excite me very much. The Prestige was one of those movies. Watch it!! I recommend it! (and that Christian Bale isn't too bad to look at either) Sorry boys, Scarlett Johanssen is in there for ya too...Anyway, my spirits are lifted. I feel better, and that's all